Monday, 20 February 2017

Coconut, my new Enemy

[Disclaimer: Bannister Rails is a grumpy old man that takes over from time to time and likes to complain about life, he enjoys it, and leaves me alone for weeks afterwards.. just smile and be polite]

Dear Food Companies:
I noticed this increase in the amount of coconut at my local cheesecake shop. The delicious creamy top, now sweeter than normal, had a base of woodchips.. that's right WOODCHIPS!

Now, I might be getting on in my years, 300+, but I know that eating woodchips is not good for you. I even did the research, thanks to this new fangled interwebs

Coconuts are trans-hippy fat wood seeds. They're seeds, they grow trees, and you want to eat them. Ok, lets look at seeds in general.. full of trans hippy fats, usually taste nutty, but they're all filled to each and ever bite with fats (they need these fats to grow into trees)

But I don't need these fats, and I especially don't like chewing on woodchips.

Yet here was my local cheesecake shop, making their entire base practically from woodchips, blurgh!

Next, I noticed it creepin into my health-food bars.. WHAT? FAT is getting in a health food bar? O.M.F.G. What is happening..

well it seems that the hippy nutritionists started saying it has the good fats, but they failed to mention, it ALSO has the bad fats.. so you gotta be careful you don't eat too much of it.. yet my afternoon snack bar was chock full of coconut woodchips.. great.. So i changed brand.. and THEY had MORE coconut woodchips! Argh,, its a conspiracy..

So I googled it.. and nothing.. How is this possible, not a single post or topic or page about the cocnut conspiracy.. obviously they've squashed all the news.. I'd expect that sometime soon this site will get taken down because I've discovered the awful truth!

its the 6th hated food in the world! Hows that, seems I'm not so crazy after all.. HA..

So how come all this coconut is coming in? Price.. and Hippy Food Groups

Compared to Wheat, coconut is cheaper, its perceived wrongly as a health food because of advertising.. there you are again, my old nemesis "ADVERTISING!", people without any google-foo skills are clueless as to how bad coconuts are for you, so they believe this hype and pay MORE for the right to have coconut milk in their starblurgs coffees..

Of course it tastes nicer.. its full of fats..

So, Now I spend another 30% of my shopping time, reading ingrediants lists, and throwing products on the floor when I see the dreaded words...

... coconut ...

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