Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Breakfast is Breakfast, don't take away my breakfast

Dear Media,

Dear Media..
I've been bombarded with an overwhelming amount of social and news media about the "normal" times to have a meal. Yes, I'm old, but I have learn't to use the twizzler and the facedjournal. I can still read, my eye's ain't gone yet.

In my day, we had breakfast in the morning, you know breakfast actually means to break fast, so it matters not what you eat for breakfast, you can eat cereal (disgusting stuff to my mind) bacon and eggs, mushrooms, steak, a sand which is a good thing. Lunch happened in the middle of the day, because its fast, you just lunch yourself at the food, then its done. then at the end of the day you sit down and properly dine, knives and forks, proper like, with napkins. Oh and if you woke up in the night, you grabbed some more of that delicious artichoke soup that Aunt flo would make. We used to say the verb 'to soup' but eventually it changed to sup.. and I think my grandkids used to say supper.

So whats up?

Some nincompoop has got it in their head, that breakfast is only the food, if you eat bacon and eggs for lunch, its breakfast, well maybe if you haven't eaten yet, then yes.. you can wake at 3pm and eat breakfast, everyone would be eating a late lunch or afternoon tea, and you'd be sitting there along with them, eating exactly the same food and it'd be breakfast for you.. thats perfectly fine. but I mean, if I want bacon and eggs for dinner, that's perfectly fine, but its not breakfast, its dinner.

But then some bigwigs in govt, they were going to do a brochure, and the artist in commission is in a tizzy because someone said, "you can't have an icon of Bacon and Eggs for Breakfast, Not everyone can have bacon and eggs for breakfast", not everyone eats breakfast, you need a symbol that's more inclusive of the other forms of breakfast.

The argument got quite heated, as per the news, a heated exchange took place, but no blood was spilled so I doubt the word heated nor exchange was truly appropriate, maybe they had a tizzy is all, but young folks today are such pussies, its hard for them to know what a real heated exchanged means... because the heat was generated from the guns and the blasting and the warfare, as you exchange bullets, and a heated argument is when blood is needed to cool down, by smacking it out of the face of the one who started it.

So there's all this tizzy about pictures being used by society and how the minority are all in a tizzy because of it. Pictures have meaning. You can't just go taking away the picture, nor can you change it. It is what it is, and no amount of chanting and ranting is every going to make a rainbow anything less than a bridge made by a leprachaun to find a pot of gold.

Sure, the young folk try to make wicked things from exciting things, and cool things from interesting things, because its easier to say "cooooool' and 'wiii-ked' than it is to say "that is very interesting" or "those things excite my creativity" like normal grownups, but eventually wicked things once again become evil, malignant things, and cool is a level of cold that is tolerable.

So Breakfast is still bacon and Eggs, lunch is still a sandwhich, dinner is steak and mashed potatoe and supper is soup.. because anyone with any sense of decency and education can quickly identify those symbols, regardless if they eat those foods themselves, which is most likely 90% of the world, but they can see the symbol and say "ahh, food" without the need for text in the right language, you don't need to include every single variety of breakfast, clever people will know it means breakfast, and stupid people don't matter.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015


When did this word begin to creep into the language.. probably about the time it became normal to watch movies years later on VHS, but more regularly now that we stream what we want..

[spoiler warning .... this blog has spoilers]

Don't tell me.. Spoilers!! 

Do you remember watching each and every Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles as they came out? me neither.. in Australia we were lucky if the channels stuck to the correct order of shows, let alone stuck to the same season.

But growing up with TV, you only got to see new episodes of anything the same friggin time as everyone else. So the next day at school or at work, you could talk about the new episode.

Moreso, was Movies, it happened from time to time, our 'clique' would go to the movies as a group, and we'd be talking about Predator for days, replaying parts in our minds, getting it wrong, rewatching it years later on VHS and complaining how this wasn't the movie that Danny described, Danny's version was better.

Movies were only "good" for the first 2 weeks, if you hadn't seen a movie by then, you were 'low class' or 'ousted' by virtue of either not being in the right 'clique' or being uncultured. (As an Adult I know better, Australia, unlike Yoghurt, has no real culture)

But Now we have Netflix and Showtime and Torrents and we watch, when we want, and so, half the time when I want to talk about Game of thrones, I always have to ask.. Have you seen, episode, um. what number was it? the one when the big guy stabs the little guy...


Sh*te, now I have to remember and catalog the numbers of the episodes, and as often, the name of the episode, like, ok, have you seen the red wedding (which in my mind is already a spoiler anyway.. red = blood = death, and we already know its two groups, one betrayed the other, so its extremely obvious who is going to kill who, do I even need to watch the episode now that I know?),
The Rains of Castamere
Season 3, Episode 9
See I even had to look it up, and then Copy Paste, because quite frankly I don't care to know the name and number of the episode.. Why is it even called rains of Castamere.. wouldn't it make more sense to call the episode Red Wedding? Its all we remember from that one anyway..

So, Gone is the day or chatter about last nights television, Gone is the chatter about the latest movie, because the only people that watch the same things I watch, is the person who's sitting beside me.

Hey Hunny, remember last night when we watched House of cards? Do you think he'll become VP?

Eventually, I hope/expect that you'll no longer pay for a channel, but instead pay for a viewing / show. They'll be like drugs.. first 3 episodes for free, $0.10 per episode + 5c per star as given by voters who have shown good taste in movies. good tv shows will raise a 3-5 million an episode, poor shows barely $100k. sorta like youtube, but with better star/like system.  

Sunday, 22 March 2015

Irrelevant Useless Me Generation

I blame the parents and the eduction system. They give prizes to kids for participation. so Now they all think they are relevant to everything in life.

Why you don't actually matter 90% of the time, so shut up.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
-Mark Twain

Recently I've seen this as a reply on some forums and chat rooms, facebook posts and tweets; It irks me, to no end.

I Ask the question: Who here is a Doctor? and get answers, I am not. Sorry, I'm not a doctor. Too bad I'm not a doctor.

When I was a lad, if your teacher asked such a question and students replies in the negative, you would get berated by the teacher for wasting her time. "I didn't ask who WASN'T a Doctor, I asked Who WAS - 50 lines, I must not waste the teachers time."

These days, the teachers hand out prizes to kids for 'being at school' or 'running the race' so that every kids grows up with some sense of worth, useless worth. 

You are worth nothing, you don't matter to 99.99999% of the planet, the faster you get used to the fact that your opinion, your ideas, your world is a small little bubble of your own perception, that can be shattered into a billion pieces with .. no wait.. thats the problem.. no matter what life throws at these people, their perception will rarely be shattered.. sure maybe a crack might appear in yours after you read this, and you might see the reality beyond, but 99.9999% of the planet, after reading this, would say "You need therapy" LOL.. because what I write here? now? this is my little bubble.. and it doesn't matter back.

Changing someones mind is a very hard thing to do. You either agree before you read, and this blog will only reinforce your opinion or you don't and you'll be offended (or just ignore) everything I'm writing.

So next time you see a question: Hey are you relevant to this question? ask yourself before you respond. If I'm not relevant, Why should I say anything at all? I'm just wasting time writing, so that they waste time reading and I show the world I'm an irrelevant useless dope. 

Monday, 9 March 2015

As I get Older, Losing my Hair

I was on the bus the other day, grumbling how the youth of today have no respect, and thinking about how old people have been grumbling about this for centuries.. yes, I'm that old.. ;P
Image from

So, I figured.. hang on.. is it possible that people have been losing respect for the elderly for such a long time? have we gotten worse and worse? is it even possible?

Maybe sure, maybe in times gone by, the youth of my grandfathers day would bow politely to their elders, address them with 'sirs' and 'madams' and over the years, we've lost that.. well, I often greet the elderly with respect.. but, again, as I think about it, I don't remember doing this when I was younger.. not as much at least.

So, maybe as we get older, we have more respect for our elders, and as we notice the world through these eyes, we notice that youth do not have this, and we begin to believe that the youth of today have less of it, than we did.

As to the rest? I think its more about fear. The times of sirs and maams were times when you could be run over in the street and no-one would think twice, well tsk tsk, life is like that, sorry but I can't be worried about every little street urchin who gets under the wheels of my carriage.

So maybe instead of sirs and ma'ams out of respect, it was more, if I dont say the right thing, they might just run me down out of spite.

Then again, maybe its just "Oliver" or "Dodger" that gave me this idea of Victorian times, and no-one had any respect for their elders back then neither. 

Wednesday, 7 January 2015


To All you Kids,

It has once again come to my attention that you are all a little uninformed about the state of affairs when it comes to things.

So, as per my responsibility as an adult, I am here to inform you when you do things that make you look stupid.

Making up words is fun, and you get the limelight for your cool, hip, knarly, bad, good, wicked, don't have a cow man, cowabunga, lingo.. but at the end of your high-school years, you'll probably forget them all anyway, and look back nostalgically in your grey years at the bodaciousnesss of your youth.

And I am aware that language changes, words change meanings, being gay isn't so happy anymore, and rainbows don't have gold at the end, mostly because people stopped using the word in one way, and began to use it in another, and fogerties like myself remember a time when we were gay about that.

But, and this is one hellova butt. But, when a word is being used, by a community.. and not just a tiny little niche group.. but pretty much a whole chunk of geek internet.. its understood that they OWN that word.. its not available to go dilly dallying with. You can't just start saying that twitter means to have a coffee, mostly cause twitter will sue you into the stone age.. when I was born...

No, No, No.. if you want to use language, and not sound like a complete spit-wad, google it.

no, better yet.. Wiki it.

I give you CRPG, or in my day, Crappage. Computers hard a hard time making decent plots, and since ROLE play games are all about plots.. it sorta pretty much didn't really cut it. No Sir Re, It did not. hence, Crappage!

Now, skip forward 10 years, and people started making better computer games, and they got better at pathing, and scripting and such, and so the CRPG games got better, and some american nincompoop went and named them RPVGs, roleplay videogames. Video.. where is the Video in a Computer game? Hmm? but thats a different Rail for another day..

No, a Roleplay Game pretty much started to mean a story based game, and that was fine..

Then you lot came along, with out your beatings and gruel to keep you in line, you think its ok to smash words around without any respect.. and worse yet, you write blogs and make U-Tube videos about it.. Gak makes me sick.. so now there are so many litttle twerps out there writing videos about RPG Games.. Pfft, its like ATM Machines and PIN Numbers.. idiots.. but when I see a nice link about 'top 10 selling RPGs or Best RPG battle systems.. I expect to come across an insightful article about how someone made a great review about roleplay games.. Not a damn Computer game.. who gives a fly about the battle systems of Computer games.. you can't take the time to pick the best skill for a fight in a damn computer game, they just go to fast to make the right decision.. everyone alive knows that button mashing rules 80% of the time.. wheres the skill in button mashing..

sheesh.. damn kids...